Starry Starry Nights…
He pulled out the last 100 rupee note from his leather purse, sighed in resignation and pocketed it back into his well worn jeans. Life had seen better days, when they were “young”. Yea, young, dumb and not broke coz there were always parents. Not now. He was old. 35. Too fucking old. Too old to be broke, too old to be asking anyone for anything, too old for love and just too damn tired and old for life. His mind was set. He knew it wouldn’t be easy. Fuck, nothing in life was easy anymore. He got up and looked in the mirror remembering his once long mane now shorne, his once toughened expression now tired and forlorn. It was time to do what he vowed he never could or would. But things change. Shit happens. And life happens. He had to let go. He had decided and it was time. He needed a change. He was sick of seeing the “success” around him while he had 100 rupees to keep him company. Yea it was easy for others to talk; he had to live through it.
The constant excuses not to go out coz he didn’t have cash, the embarrassment when he couldn’t contribute to the bills when they did go out, the inability to buy what he wanted. This would solve all that. A tiny voice piped up from somewhere snidely – “you really think so?” But he brushed it off angrily. He’d gotten used to brushing it off for years now. He had to do this. He wanted what everyone but he had. Why suffer anymore? The refrain of starry starry night rang in his head as he stepped out “How you suffered for your sanity…” Indeed. The life of a creative soul would never be easy. That tiny voice knew as did he. But he doggedly forged on in search of those starry starry nights that would bring him the fame and fortune that he felt he deserved while it slowly sucked the light out of him and carved in his soul, a gaping black hole…
