Dealing with the Rot Alone
I hate puking. Honestly. It’s the worst feeling ever. No one can ever say they like it. It truly sucks. It sucks even more when you’re alone and dealing with it. Snort. That’s kind of the story of many people’s lives. We live, love, fall ill & die alone. There’s no real mercy when you are battling your head and emotions. It’s a terrible lesson.
A recent bout of severe food poisoning reminded me of the follies of eating from out, assuming that food is of good quality with 7.5 hour power cuts ravaging the country. Anyway food standards are abysmal coz everything has deteriorated over the years. Hence it’s no surprise that we are now consuming rubbish. And I paid the sour price for it. The doctor said don’t eat anything from out – everything has gone bad. Even frozen foods – ready to cook. Yea, everything that was once good is no longer that. It’s sad. It’s also a rude wake up call.
We have been sitting silently warming our proverbial assess saying “we don’t do politics”. Yea we don’t do politics and therefore the thugs do it. And now the rot has set in, spread like the mould on a cheese gone mad. And we’re eating it and we’re sick and puking & purging and complaining. Disgusting.
These days, many are struggling to live. Right now I am struggling to understand where this is going. When will it end? Or will it? I have the patience of a teaspoon. The test of time has not finished with me though. Like a pendulum swinging the seconds of life of time and my patience, it is taking its own slow course. Ugh. I could throw something in frustration. But it will get me nowhere. Like that miserable night last week where I puked & purged like a wretched rag doll, I have to endure this too. Closing my eyes and pretending it was done or won’t happen again, is a fallacy. For fools. I ain’t a fool. I choose not to be one.
So now, here comes the work. Consistency counts more than skill and some abstract talent. The daily work must go in. The habits have to be those that benefit long term. I looked at myself in my tights and sports bra. Another bloody uphill climb – my belly rolling in delight. Yea I know you’re there. You have always been the bane of my life – whether internally or externally. Now you will be my partner. Can’t with you and can’t without you. So we strike a deal – a balance of sorts. No more hating. But no more hurting either. It’s time for peace.
I wish I could say the same about the place I call home. It’s time for peace but not before the war. This war is one where we’re fighting ourselves for having been silent witnesses for too long. Now we are reaping the benefits in leaps and bounds. Enough. It’s time for some action and consistent hard work.
It’s a boulder being rolled uphill but we gotta start. Not everyone sees the need of course – the ostrich with its head in the sand is still in deluded bliss. Not for those of us who chose to raise our heads only to smell the wafting stench.
My belly is still – for now. Let’s see how things go.