A Journey of a 1000 miles…and I am at 20
Today was about challenges, progress and inspiration. I had my second dose of Sinopharm scheduled in the morning and I had to check on my wounded foot. I also had work. I attended to my work, took the vaccine, hung around till the others were done and came home in one piece. No side effects so far, thank God. I expected last time’s miserable headache but nothing. My foot on the other hand was still healing. The remnants of a shattered Pyrex glass dish that decided to scar me on her way down to the tile floor. My fault. But it hurt and the cut is still healing. So with a new bandage and a bloody jab wound – both which cannot bear H2O for reasons of medical importance, meant that today I would be washing myself like a bloody clown. Bad enough I had to wear a bag on my foot with a tourniquet type hair band to secure the neck and a permanent heel up position when bathing thanks to my foot injury. Now I had to not wet my arm either. Slapped on some cling wrap, wrangled a weird side body wash manouvre and managed to salvage my foot and my arm. So far so good. Bloody hell. One has to appreciate the days of standing under a shower and being able to soap oneself and wet oneself without hopping around like an idiot. Simple things in life. Then I question why plasters can’t be water proof – and by this I mean proper. Not the flimsy rubbish they seem to use.
In the midst of this there was a meeting with the usual issue of lost in translation. One has to really be patient and understand context for translations. It can be challenging and this bloody well was. But hopefully we have now renamed our teabags from ‘Substitute Tea bag’ to ‘Herbal Infusion’. Such is the danger of direct translation.
I have also commenced on a jigsaw puzzle. It’s an owl in mid flight with her wings spread. Majestic thing. Except there is nothing majestic about trying to figure out which pieces fit when the background is murky blue and black and the wings are shades of white. But I am of course persevering. Because that is what is required. The picture is slowly coming together. Only to be torn apart a few weeks down the line. Life.
I indulged today. In bread. Some lovely French bread, well made by a bakery run by a French lady. I love how she pronounces ‘croissants’. Very French. I ate too much of bread, butter and cheese. But good bread needs good butter and nice strong cheese. Hence I ate. I have more for tomorrow. I am happy. My waistline is not. It’s pouring out of my brown shorts held together by a button in protest. I have also discovered the Almond Croissant which although good must be enjoyed fresh out of the oven. Grin.
Evening was uneventful – just mooching around the garden trimming my enthusiastic Butterfly pea flower vines and the grape vine. It’s bearing fruit – lovely green pearls glistening in the light but of course it will be like many things in life – go thus far and no further. The wretched squirrels and birds will see to that – they will not ripen and turn that beautiful deep purple red. Instead they’ll be chewed up and spat out by folly. Growl.
I was sent a reminder by my former boss about the talk by Jane Goodall – a woman I came across when learning archaeology and the antiquity of man. Her life is inspiring but it is true devotion and she stands an outlier in every sense. She spoke so well and there was strength in her gentle yet firm delivery. She knew her path was not conventional. She knew it would be challenging and she did it because she believed she could. Somewhere this woke the little self in me that believes I can tread the path not taken because precious few in this country follow their heart. Most follow society’s and their parents’ dreams and the rest follow their wallets. I want to follow my conscience. It’s been beating me for a while now. One thing Jane said made sense – ‘You matter’. Yes I matter – not in the egotistic sense but in the sense of service; of being a part of the ecosystem and being a member of this planet. I matter. I am also matter. It’s important to remember that. Whatever religions may pump into your head – remember the Earth is 4.5 billion years old. Older than any religion. She has also survived longer than any religion. And she will outlive us. So when you connect with nature, when you feel that sense of wonder as you walk into a forest or take in the expanse of the ocean, remember we belong to the Earth. Not that she belongs to us.
Today also marks two years since I launched Owl Muses. A blog which I hope captures my spirit and my soul because I write in it simply because I feel and therefore I am. It is not purpose written. It’s not edited or touched in any way. It’s raw and it’s real. It’s very much me. And I like it to be that way. I have veered off and written with a purpose but perhaps the pieces that resonate with people the most are these random musings I pen. These thoughts, these feelings, these ideas and experiences. So much going on and yet so significant and yet mundane. I have a long way to go. But isn’t that life?
I recall Robert Frost – “Miles to go before I sleep”. So true yet so tedious and daunting at times and at other times, it’s full of wonder and excitement. So much to learn, so much to see, so much to experience. Who knows? Perhaps it’s time to venture out again – away from the known and into the unknown. Something I fear yet have learned to still persevere with. Someone once said “Courage is not the absence of fear”. So bloody true. Just that you know you have to do it.
One thing though. Be the Captain of your soul. No matter where it takes you – through storms, through calm waters and through great swells and great thrills. It is your ship to steer. Not your parents’. Not your peers’. It is yours. Steer it with every ounce of grit you possess. Enough excuses. Grab the sails and rein them in. I am trying – not easy but I will keep doing this. Only then will I know real peace.
I long for that day.