Owl Opinions

Fear or Respect?

Many times I have heard people say things like, “I don’t smoke in front of my father out of respect”, “I don’t want my parents to see me drunk coz I respect them” etc.

As admirable as this sounds, the basic premise is a lie. Basically you want to hide the truth because you ‘respect’ somebody. But what exactly is respect? If one is to truly respect someone, it is to consider their feelings, wishes etc. in an honest manner. Not to deceive them on a premise of lies. It would be better to be honest and be reprimanded honestly than to live a lie and pretend.

Many people live life hiding behind many facades. One of these is this respect veil. As adults, many still have a childlike fear of their parents. Which is absurd but very real. And this is also because parents never cease to view their children as anything other than children – even if they are adults. This is very problematic as you spend your life hiding, pretending and lying in order to maintain some semblance of a status quo riding on the wings of feigned respect.

Psychologists will tell you that living a lie is far more detrimental than not. Yes, the short term implications of telling your parents that you drink, smoke, have tattoos, don’t want to follow in their footsteps etc. can be painful but the long term result is that they either accept or don’t accept you as you are. And seeking parental validation even as adults is very problematic – especially to the point where you lie to them. Your parents should not have conditional love – but many do. And as an adult, it is upto you to move away from those shackles either by being your honest self or removing yourself from their presence, especially if it is toxic. Yet many pretend because of convenience and some to an extent of wanting to secure favour in the form of monetary inheritances. Sad indeed.

Today, we have a culture of utter pretense and feigned respect with Jekyll & Hyde style personalities rampant. Most are in denial and play the game, live the lie and think themselves very clever for doing so. Seeing through these pretenses is not fun – it is quite tragic. And it is a symptom of a malaise that places fear instead of respect in a bid to falsely satisfy.

Be true to yourself – sometimes that hard lesson will be far better than playing happy families which will in the long term ruin many. Respect or fear – your folly will determine your choice.

 

Meet Lilanka
“what is meant to be comes about of what one does”.
An eclectic personality with a penchant for creativity, Lilanka is an old soul who loves life, laughter and stepping off the beaten track. She finds joy in nature, travelling and venting her existential frustrations via her writing while calming her body with food and her soul with music. Her motto is – “what is meant to be comes about of what one does”.
A collection of eclectic expressions from life according to Lilanka Botejue. From her creative outbursts and passionate views to her love for nature, food, music and archaeology, Owl Muses is an attempt to capture these moments in time.
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