“You Didn’t See Me” & “My Parents Don’t Know”
Often when I have been out at night at a bar, restaurant, night club, I have bumped into many known faces (in true Colombo fashion) and have been intrigued by the number of people who have indicated “You didn’t see me here” or said with regard to the person they are with, “My parents don’t know”.
Now I understand if I had bumped into underage children at a bar or club. That would not be ok by me anyway. I don’t think children should be at nightclubs, regardless of the current trends in Colombo. But these are adults I am talking about. Most are in their early 20s. And yet they are governed by rules that would apply to children.
They are not allowed inside a nightclub. Because of course, the nightclub equates all the vices one can think of – alcohol, sex, drugs, rock & roll etc. Yes it has vices. Upto you to choose which ones to indulge in or not. And as adults, one would assume that you are old enough to make that decision. But these young people have parents still policing them. So what do they do? They sneak into places they are ‘forbidden’ to enter and then spend their time telling known people “You didn’t see me”. There are also those who are in relationships with people of a different religion, ethnic community or social class and these too are also taboo. Hence the need to tell known devils, “My parents don’t know”.
I find this situation truly sad. Not like I would be ratting to their parents – it’s not my business. But these are adults. Why the hell can’t they take and make decisions on their own without fear of retribution from parents? And why are parents still policing adults?? Yes you will always be your parents’ child. But advising your adult children is one thing. Forbidding them to do things is another. It’s ridiculous and it’s a South Asian malaise that must stop. So many young adults are living a lie – one life at home, one life outside. Because they can never be themselves, and quite a few escape overseas to just be. To live free. It’s not like they are escaping to become axe murderers or drug lords. They are escaping to engage in normal adult life – enjoy a drink at a bar or enjoy a relationship with a person of their choosing. Sadly most parents are driving their children to be Janus faced or driving them away, and they don’t seem to realize it.