When You Want to Give People the Finger But…
These days have been trying. It’s brought to the forefront a lot of things I would rather not deal with but am compelled to.
I had to sort out some legal documents that should have been attended to years ago but weren’t. It isn’t fun when you have to go from Maharagama to Malabe coz no one really knows the bloody processes in this country and one has to be like some beggar going from pillar to post hoping for some respite. It’s now in progress, God knows till when. I have learned to live and let live with this one.
I have a boss who for some reason seems to love putting things on weekends / holidays and seems to want me to do the same. I do not want to and I have every right to refuse. Just that I need to learn to do that. Why? Coz I feel bad to say no and I don’t want a confrontation and having to explain when I don’t need to. Holidays are holidays. Burning the candle on both ends leads to lower productivity. These are basics. But even bosses forget the basics in their bid to prove they are ‘working’. Not my problem but I need to remind myself and the boss, of that fact.
I am dealing with someone in a professional capacity who has a list of rules that apply only when it suits him whereas I have to bend all over to accommodate his requests. When I bring it up, I am thrown the rule book. Now I am in the process of turning the tables on him.
A friend on a group was criticized for the way he conducted himself a few years ago. He got pissed off and left the group. Earlier, I would have messaged and called and asked why and told him to come back to the group. Now I just let it be. If people cannot behave like adults, it is not my duty to chase after them and rock them in their cradle. Maturity is something I value at this stage in life. And I am not your ego masseuse.
In the midst of this my psychologist friend is asking me why I am so intent on people pleasing. Because all it has done is lead to indecision in my life. And she’s right. So now I am trying to put myself before others – not to be selfish – but to be focused so that I don’t get steamrolled by others who are set on doing so. I am no one’s galley slave. I need to constantly remind myself of that. Hopefully I will get to the point where I can freely give people the proverbial finger when required.
