We Are the Generation of Second Chances
‘Trial and error’. ‘Baptism by fire’. ‘Keep trying’. These are common things we hear. Yet many don’t want to acknowledge that we sometimes have made a mistake and that we can rectify it though it can cause a lot of grief in the short term, but peace of mind in the long run.
Second or even a hundred chances at certain things are considered the norm. Training to win races, establishing businesses, having babies etc. are but some. But no one wants to talk about the second chances at life and loving again.
Love and romance for centuries has been cocooned in religious dogma and cultural stigma. Once you ‘tie the knot’ you aren’t expected to break it. Ever. ‘It’s a sin’. ‘It’s against our culture’, ‘it will dishonour the family name’ and various other lamentations. Truth is that in today’s context, many people are choosing to walk away from situations that make them unhappy and no longer add value to their lives.
Job, careers, marriages. It’s a huge step but it is happening. And there are many who have found a second chance at happiness with a career of their choosing and a partner of their liking.
Let’s admit it. At 20 something – what the hell do you really know? Just the weight of your family’s and society’s expectations. It’s not everyone who knows their life’s calling at 21 or 25. And then you add a partner to the equation – in your generally confused state – and what do you think happens when the epiphanic moment hits? And hit it will. As sure as the Earth revolves around the sun. At some point – your existential crisis will make you question the very foundation you built as your own. And sometimes, the partner of your choosing is no longer the person you need in your journey. They may have been what you needed 10 years ago. But not anymore. And it’s messy. Coz you have kids, family obligations and a shit load of guilt. Similarly with a career – old world loyalty and career progression no longer makes sense. But many are afraid to push the comfort zone and leave for the unknown.
But the more you deny yourself, the more you will dig your own grave deeper. And many are realising this and choosing to move on, to move away and to choose themselves and their happiness first. The stereotypical notion of a mother or father is one of unending sacrifice and self inflicted torture. As romantic as this may sound, the truth is that unhappy parents breed dysfunctional children. Many are the marriages built on the shoulders of their children. There is nothing left once the children are gone. Many consider these successes but they are anything but. They are accepted norms and they hide an iceberg of dysfunction and toxicity which do impact the offspring.
So instead we see people choosing to relook at their lives and choose contentment. In every sense. From their jobs to their families. And if nothing else, we who have been conditioned to not give certain things second chances, are now doing so out of choice rather than just out of necessity. And that’s great.
In a way, we are the generation of second chances for things supposedly carved in rock. And there’s nothing wrong with that. Start over again – try again. And this time, let your instinct be your guide. Not society’s.