Ugly Truths
I spent the long weekend in Nuwara Eliya with a group of my friends. We are all strongly opinionated women who come from different walks of life. During this stay it made me realise a few startling facts about the lives we lead and the world around us.
We decided to go for a walk around Lake Gregory despite the rain. It was hauntingly beautiful and empty and it was a reminder that you can still walk in the rain – all you need is a jacket and an umbrella.
We watched a movie called The Ugly Truth and it made me realise how easy it is to want a really nice partner and how we are expected to be something we’re not in that pursuit. It put to rest any restrictions I had even briefly considered. Just be yourself and be open to unconventional partners.
On Sunday night we went to the Grand Hotel for a drink at their bar. We were treated rather shabbily coz most of us ordered coffee. The drinks were over 3000 lkr and I actually ordered an Irish Coffee at the absurd price of 4800 and was given one with hardly any Jameson in it – I was told they only put 25ml. The standard recipe is with 50ml. It made me realise how establishments cheat people to make money with no qualms whatsoever.
We watched Ruth Bader Ginsburg’s story On the Basis of Sex and it made us realise how real the glass ceiling was and unfortunately still is. Ruth was my reminder that sexism is very real but it’s important to keep fighting. We later on discussed how the corporate world treats women and pays us less because they see us as less. It was also my reminder that a supportive partner is the only partner worth having. Not some insecure mutt whose life purpose is to replace his mother with his wife.
During the movie, someone joked about me being an extra in the movie coz I kept noticing double acting and I replied, I was an extra in a choir but never a movie. It was my reminder that I made the right decision when it came to leaving a certain toxic environment that did nothing for my self confidence.
Later on, we decided to sing and record a little clip. My friend who is a superb singer asked me to sing the opening lines – I was surprised that she asked, I was also surprised that I did a pretty decent job with it. It reminded me that supportive friends and peers will see you through. It was also my reminder to believe in myself and stop listening to white noise from others.
We were on the last day discussing the murder of Dr. Moumita Debnath and the reels on TikTok showing a Rapunzel clip going into Dr. Debnath’s picture. Some of us did not see the messaging as patriarchal. Quite a few of us were pissed. There is nothing safe about staying inside locked towers – the predators lurk at home too. The answer to the issue is to hold perpetrators accountable and implement the laws in the country and to educate people. Knowledge is power. It was also my reminder that women are not safe and that we have a long way to go.
It was a lovely weekend and we enjoyed ourselves very much and just relaxed without trying to control every situation. It was my reminder that it’s fine to not always be in control. And ugly truths may be ugly but are essential.
