Sexual Frustration on the Street
I was walking home recently when a man on a motorbike groped my bum from behind and rode off. It was too dark to see his number plate, any colour on his clothing or his face. He sped off, turned further down the road and rode off. My screams of calling him a pariah were fruitless. I was also in a state of semi-shock as it took a while to sink in what he had done.
I was livid after that. Pepper sprays, umbrellas etc. would have been pointless coz it happened too fast. What I dearly wished for was a good gun. Unfortunately, I do not possess one and don’t really intend to. But acts such as these which amount to sexual assault dearly make me yearn for one.
It is one thing to exist on this Earth with a gender that apparently renders men senseless enough to commit rape, murder, assault etc. It’s another thing to be expected to do nothing about it, once such acts are committed with zero provocation (not that this justifies anything). I was pissed that there was no one I could call, that there was zero recourse or justice I could seek.
What is worse is that this is normalised to a point where people aren’t surprised and somewhat expect you to stomach it. I find this pathetic. I was heartened to note the number of men who empathised when I shared this on social media and what was not surprising was the number of women who totally understood – coz so many of us have been there so many times.
And this has got to stop.
There is nothing normal about sexual assault, abuse or rape. It is a disease that needs to be addressed and stopped. I do not live in a boondock – I live in the city. And if people in the city are not civilised, then where the hell does one start?
We live in a society that demonises sex, sex education and pretends that storks deliver babies. Whereas the scope for sex work is growing, the Relax and Solid rooms keep sprouting, abortion rates are high, porn consumption is high and the celibate clergy are anything but in this so called cultured isle of ours. I find this sexual frustration permeating every social level from the men in the buses to the corporate dogs who masturbate outside schools, who sevalafy all over their female staff while running to churches, temples & mosques to keep up appearances of propriety and respectability.
It’s a sick world we are living in and the fact that there is acceptance of this madness is patently absurd. Under no circumstances should sexual abuse in any form be tolerated let alone accepted. We need implementation of laws, strict punishment of perpetrators and a willingness to call out those who allow these to continue.
What we also need are male allies.
The bro code needs to amend itself to address the shit within and this is something that needs to start with the men themselves. Too long have women been screaming for justice – it’s high time the men became allies, woke up and addressed their bros who do this shit.
And for those of you saying, “not all men”, you are unfortunately the minority. And whataboutism is not helping anyone. So please get on board which will help everyone to live a better life.
