If You’re Getting A Divorce and Have Kids – Listen Up.
I have been recently seeing a lot of posts on social media between couples who are in the midst of some crisis, who are separated or who are getting divorced. And these have ranged from downright nasty to mocking along with a load of others ganging up and agreeing on these posts.
I understand relationships are complex. And it’s very easy to demonise one party against another. Fact is, majority of these marriages are ones that were consensual between both parties. These are not forced marriages or child bride situations. These are adults who chose to legally bind their relationship and have kids. And once you choose to procreate, please understand that all your actions affect your children. If not now, 20 years down the line, they will.
As a child of divorced parents, I remember the shit I had to listen to from others – some were just nasty pieces of excrement, some were well meaning and some just didn’t know what the hell to say or do. This was the pre-social media era. To date, I know of families who are wary of people who have divorced parents because they assume it is a ‘broken home’ (let’s not start on the dysfunctional, broken homes continuing on and playing happy families) and that the children are damaged.
In this environment, trashing your spouse / former spouse online who happens to be the parent of your children, is just creating a shit show for them when they grow up. Do you not think that people will screenshot your abuse and show it to them later? Do you not know how these things pan out in our backward little societies? Why on earth are you adding more grief to your already traumatised children by airing your dirty linen online? Everyone has shit in their lives but everyone else doesn’t need to know about it. Have some dignity in how you represent the parent of your child because it will create a terrible backlash for your kids. Turning your children against their mother / father is a recipe for disaster and you can read about the myriad negative repercussions of such behaviour.
So please, if you genuinely give a damn about your children, and want to ensure your relationship crisis does not affect them beyond what you can help, then stop airing your issues with each other on social media. Your children will one day thank you for it.
And to those of you who enjoy this kind of crap and enjoy egging it on from the sidelines, please get a life and go for some therapy. Coz you clearly need it.