If You Aren’t Ready to Answer Why You Had Children, Don’t Have Them…
I was speaking to a friend recently who was seeking my experience being a child of divorced parents and how it was and any pitfalls to avoid. During the course of the conversation, I also mentioned that I have asked my parents why they had me, because I believe it is a legitimate question.
He was very surprised and shocked and I said, you better be ready to be asked this question. Not just because divorced kids ask this – any kid would ask this. I have friends who have asked this question. And as a parent, if you aren’t ready to give that answer because you yourself are not sure or because you are too ashamed to admit it may be as basic an answer as social pressure, then don’t have kids.
It’s as absurd as parents having sex to procreate and then feeling embarrassed about explaining the act to their children. Children are not born of their own will – it is yours and your partner’s desire that brings them forth. In this regard, every child has a right to know why they were born, especially if their parents are around to answer that question. There is no impertinence here or any false BS version of respect. It is perfectly legitimate and valid.
So to any aspiring and already parents out there – be ready to answer this question. As truthfully as you possibly can because children know when you’re lying and it is not worth the price. It is better to be prepared and to answer honestly than be blustering about respect and gratitude and all kinds of rubbish that parents love hurling at their children. Children have a right to know why you chose that they be born – as painful as it may be for you to explore this.