Forty – Fabulously Fiery and Feisty
Many people don’t like getting ‘old’. I think this is primarily because we have been conditioned by Hollywood, cosmetic professionals and bullshit marketing that ageing is something to be dreaded and fought.
I do not agree. I think to age is to understand that we have lived through many things in life and these have taught us lessons that we cannot ever comprehend at 21. It’s a natural progression of things and so turning 40 is something that I am not too fussed with.
Yes, there are physiological factors and if you want to have kids, it’s a ticking clock, how does one find a partner, should I be starting/running my own business by now, what about my fitness, what about my weight, my stomach, blah blah.
Enough.
I choose to not be led by crazy deadlines set by others. I have learned – with age and experiences in life – that there is a time for everything. Yes, we can visualise, journal, tell ourselves affirmations but all this is fruitless if we do not at our core, believe it or are ready for it. There are many things we want – just saying it out loud is not enough. You have to live, do and truly believe. And this takes, sometimes, many years, many tears and many experiences.
I have lived well for 40 years. I have faced many challenges, overcome many obstacles and I am still grappling with some. It has hardly been a bed of roses – but I do not really regret any of the experiences I have lived through so far. Yes, it has not been easy, but in hindsight I understand how these have shaped and moulded my life and my path. At times I have been crystal clear about what I want. But there are many times, even now, where I don’t know where the hell the road is taking me but I am trusting that it will lead me to where I need to go. This is often, off the beaten track.
I am in no way comfortable with what I am or what I have right now. I know something is driving me and it’s been very frustrating to figure out what it is. But I have been given much – I am very grateful for the many blessings, the people and the experiences I have had and so I continue on my chosen path.
In the grander scheme of things, 40 is the midpoint of 80. And hence I’m just halfway to whatever life I want to live. It is also a point where I have learned to say no, been able to push away the social bunkum and tell people to fuck off where necessary. This is truly refreshing and crucial to live a life true to oneself.
Stop looking at others. The bar you set is your goal – push it daily. And when you are content – know when to stop, when to pause and when to continue.
Your life is yours to live – own it. May the fires ignite and light your journey – onwards and upwards, like the phoenix rising from the ashes.
