Owl Opinions

Boundaries & EQ

“You need to be careful because Eastern men don’t know boundaries”. This was told to me by someone when I was relating how a professional meeting led to a 60+ year old man harassing me with calls, messages and requests to meet. I was friendly because he was recommended by a known party. I assumed, he would be paternal as someone his age should be. Instead, he fancied himself a possible match for me, all because I was friendly.

My blood boils at the insinuation because it’s bloody ridiculous to live in a world where you have to be so guarded about everything. I understand very well why parents are protective of daughters, but the answer to the problem is not to be barricading women. It is to teach men – EQ or Emotional Intelligence. Something a majority severely lack. Funnily, the old man in question was asking me what emotional intelligence is. It’s that scarce.

It’s not just this incident. I was once given possibly one of the worst pick up lines by a 50 year old who was shamelessly hitting on me despite my squirmed disinterest. The line was “I’m gonna go change my shirt – wanna join me sexy?” It was so cringe. Yet this is a person from a so called good school, heading a business and well versed in women apparently. I pity whoever he used that line on previously. He clearly cannot read the room and it boggles my mind how he never picked up on my disinterest.

It is honestly absurd to be listening to rubbish like this, guarding myself like some trophy and then being expected to find a partner in the midst of this muck. It’s mind blowing and sickening. I am seriously wondering whether women are ever free to be themselves truly? Or are we expected to play these roles so that men can follow some stereotype in their head of how a woman should behave?

This is why teaching consent is so important to people. Unless someone explicitly states that they are interested in you, back the F off. Especially women – we are so used to putting up with crap because society blames us for men’s bad behaviour. Don’t give in. Set clear boundaries and stick to them. And guys, you really need to do better. Yes, I know it’s not all of you. But it’s enough of you and that has to stop.

 

 

Meet Lilanka
“what is meant to be comes about of what one does”.
An eclectic personality with a penchant for creativity, Lilanka is an old soul who loves life, laughter and stepping off the beaten track. She finds joy in nature, travelling and venting her existential frustrations via her writing while calming her body with food and her soul with music. Her motto is – “what is meant to be comes about of what one does”.
A collection of eclectic expressions from life according to Lilanka Botejue. From her creative outbursts and passionate views to her love for nature, food, music and archaeology, Owl Muses is an attempt to capture these moments in time.
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